Steven Sande, for TUAW:
Invitations to Apple’s iPhone event on October 4th have been sent out, and we asked famed numerology expert Helmut Weltschmertz (see photo at right) of the Koblenz Institute of Numerology and Used Car Sales to tell us exactly what the numbers and symbols on the invitation meant. Here’s what Dr. Weltschmertz was able to surmise for TUAW:
And thus begins an absolutely hilarious satire of all the bizarre Kremlinology you see pop up every time any communication comes forth from Sphinx-like Apple. We’ve had some humorous hijinx in the comment thread associated with our own coverage of the announcement, so make sure to check there too.
No, no no! It has nothing to do with the iPhone 5. iPhone shmyPhone. Numerology is about monumental things!
It’s obvious. Look at the shape of the red and blue icon on the map. This means something was close geographically. And because that icon is red white (text) and blue, and has horns – and who was in California (geographically close to Cupertino) yesterday?
It can lead to one, and only one conclusion!
OBAMA IS THE ANTICHRIST!
God told me on my Jesus phone.