The Atlantic:
Harland is the first name of Kentucky Fried Chicken’s founder (and now mascot), Colonel Sanders, and the company announced on Wednesday that it will award $11,000 to the first baby born on September 9, Sanders’s birthday, bearing the name Harland. Per a press release, the gift of $11,000 is “in honor of KFC’s 11 herbs and spices” and is intended for the newborn Harland’s college tuition.
In other words, there might soon be a child whose naming rights were effectively purchased by a company that sells fast food. It is sad to think of the conversation young Harland’s parents might someday have with him, explaining that he is named for the respected patriarch not of his family but of the company that makes the Double Down.
Marketing has never been a principled business, but KFC’s offer seems a new low.
Anyone participating in this offensive stunt should be visited by Child Protective Services to see if they are actually fit to parent.
Harland is an archaic name and definitely out of the mainstream. But it’s not like they’re saying “Name your kid Buttplug or Lucifer.” I’m certain you’ve seen worse names than Harland, and I don’t recall you having written posts about the fitness of those parents. Take a deep breath and get some perspective. The history of the world old and new is replete with stories of people abasing themselves and doing truly shameful things to please a patron for a bit of coin. This… is just a name. Lots of kids are not named a respected patriarch of the family. They’re named because of a guy on TV or a whim of the parent. Some get their names because parents think the birth certificate is a fine place to demonstrate their juvenile sense of humor. Some are just totally and ridiculously made up. For a kid who might not otherwise have had a good start in life, “Harland” doesn’t rise to the histrionicity of being unfit to parent.
Agreed. It wasn’t too long ago that people were tattooing brand names on their foreheads for money. On the other hand, I can totally see some irresponsible doctor and parents inducing labor in order to try to win this.
I suspect “The Loop” doesn’t have a problem with Dweezil and Moon Unit?
Kinda reminds me of an episode of “The Dick Van Dyke Show” where Rob has to explain to Richie why his middle name is “Rosebud.”
So a couple are at the maternity ward, and the woman is delivering. There are complications, but she successfully delivers twins, a boy and a girl! But she’s exhausted and uncomfortable, so her partner stays with the recuperating new mother.
Later, when the partner comes back to their room, he is greeted by his brother, who had been waiting there. The brother says that while they were gone, a nurse had come to the room, needing names to fill in on the birth certificates. In their absence, the brother had to think of them.
Oh no, the partner thinks, wondering what names the dim-witted brother might have chosen. “What names did you give them?”
“Well, the girl I named Denise.”
What a relief! “Oh, that’s a nice name. What name did you give for the boy?”
“Denephew.”
Give him the name, get the cash, then change the name.
Assuming the parents did the financially smart thing and invested the $11k to use for college, what would a $11k turn into after 18 years of not touching it?
A doctor would induce labor so the parents could give that name and win a prize? Only on TV. 😉
There are endless such stories. I was told one by someone who acted like it was gospel, and it’s almost certainly apocryphal: the mothers in the waiting room of a pediatric clinic are talking, while they wait for their turn. After awhile one of the women vents. “It’s not fair. You all got to give your kids names. I didn’t get to choose a name. The hospital gave her a name.” What was the name, the other mothers ask. “Female” (pronounced like tamale). But there are some seriously godawful names out there. I saw one named “Angle”. The parents insisted it was pronounced “Angel”. They hadn’t misspelled it on purpose. They just couldn’t be bothered to spend the 3 seconds it look up the proper spelling for this child they were going to spend the next 2 decades raising. And that name was real. By comparison, Harland would have been great.
Do I assume you left out “Motorhead” because that name was okay? 😉
That would be more sleazy than giving him the name for the prize money though.
My two thoughts on this are first, that someone who actually has a father/grandfather etc named Harland and who are considering naming the kid Harland in the first place should enter and second, that $11,000 is a pittance and really cheap of KFC.
Yes, it’s decent seed money. But as a reward from a national company for permanently naming your kid something? It’s tiny.
I replied to the wrong post. Excuse me.
The problem for many people manifests in their not comprehending the story laid out. They seem to be caught up in the name and not the concept.
It is very sad to think of parents trafficking their baby child, the most precious thing ever created … to a fast food company for financial gain.
KFC should hang their heads in shame.
I don’t know…I remember there being some emotional weight thrown around surrounding the naming of my niece…parts of the family that wanted the child named after their departed ancestors and not someone else’s.
*Two* decades? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
At least the kid will have an education, and thus never have to work for KFC!
For these people, very likely less.
Which fast-food chain are those from?
Not if it helps pay the hospital bills.
That happens in a lot of families. Too many kids’ names are the result of compromises to avoid placating or offending one egotist or another.
At a 10% return, maybe two years’ tuition at a state college.
The parents could be fans of Harland Williams, star of the movie HALF BAKED.
William Lear named his daughter “Shanda”