Wired:
While Woods is one of several DMs-for-hire out there, this isn’t his hobby or a side gig; it’s a living, and a pretty good one at that, with Woods charging anywhere from $250 to $350 for a one-off three-hour session (though he works on a sliding scale). For that price, Woods will not only research and plan out your game but also, if you become a regular, answer your occasional random text queries about wizard spells.
I had no idea there was any such thing as a professional DM but, of course there is.
I could see doing this, and maybe actually consider paying the money, you know, if the spells actually worked.
After this, I’m expecting to see stories about left handed door slammers.