As someone with an extremely complicated relationship with his three dads, this video had me in tears thinking about all the things I wish I could have said to them and all the things I wish I could have heard them say.
Don’t wait until it’s too late.
My daughter has three dads – her biological, me (the one who raised her) and her second step-father (her mom’s third husband). I know that she feels conflicted in various situations but has always found time to spend with her on Father’s Day. I still worry about how she identifies with men because of her complex upbringing.
Wish I’d had the opportunity. Lost him when I was five, and I don’t know that we’d have had very much in common had he lived.
For years I have had this story running through my head about what my dad has done to mold me into the person I am today. I kept meaning to write it down, but writing for me has always been tough, I am a photographer, not a writer darn it. Two years ago, dad was going through a very rough period with his health. I figured either I can write this now so he can know what he has meant to me or I can write it for his funeral and regret his not reading it for the rest of my life. I buckled down and wrote a 3 page “editorial” for dad and he read it. I am so happy I was able to do that for us. His health has improved but at 86 years old, there is only so much time he has left. As was mentioned above, don’t wait until it’s too late.
Just a thought.,
Talk to her. Ask her.
I do. And I will continue to do so. Thanks!
I guess I’ll be the downer here again … this video is probably bullshit for at least 70% of Dads IMO. It’s based on the assumption that most Dads are great, and that most kids appreciate them but just don’t get to say so, and that just isn’t reality.
What if (like me) you had a Dad who’s answer to that first question would be to just walk away, or say “don’t bother me?” What if your second Dad (like mine) was a similarly violent selfish a-hole? And don’t tell me this is just my personal experience. I’ve been around for many decades now and seen many Dads and the Dads shown in this video are definitely a minority in the real world. Most aren’t as bad as mine were, but most also aren’t anything as good as the Dad’s in the video either.
Dad’s leave. Dad’s are mostly absent even when they are around. That’s the reality. No kid really needs a Dad the way they need a mother. Mothers are important, Dads are just something to tolerate for the most part. Dad’s have nothing to teach their kids and those that grow up without them are in my experience more rounded and decent human beings.
I look forward to Fathers Day now only because both of my Dad’s are dead and buried and I don’t have to think about them on Fathers Day anymore for the most part, or even know that Fathers day is happening.
I was adopted as an infant so I have two fathers: the one who raised me and my biological father. I was reunited with my biological parents (who split up after giving me up for adoption) in 2001. My dad who raised me has Alzheimer’s now. I think he still recognizes me, but he’s not in a state where he’s able to talk on the phone. It’s too late to tell him any more, but I did tell him a lot before we lost him to the disease.
I was going to forget to call my biological father, though, so thanks for the reminder, Shawn.
You’re very welcome.