Cook concluded his remarks by assuring investors the release of upcoming Apple products such as the iPhone 5 would be postponed for at least four years so the company could throw all its time and resources into the creation of high-quality printers for the home and office.
Thanks to humor and satire site The Onion for injecting some much-needed hilarity into today’s Apple news.
And they’re buying WebOS.
I had to steal that for a tweet. That’s awesome.
In conversations with my Blackberry using brothers, I indicated that Cook’s first move would be to buy HP’s PC division and Palm, because someone has to power the bicycle taxis that will be used to ferry Apple staff around the new headquarters.
“Hi. I’m former Palm CEO John Rubinstein. Can I take you to the cafeteria first?”
I hear there’s a new cutting-edge technology called “dot matrix” that’s just around the corner. It would be perfect for printers. I hope Cook jumps on it.