RIM

So, RIM did a study

Gary Ng:

A recent study commissioned by Research in Motion has concluded it is cheaper and safer for companies to keep using BlackBerrys despite the proliferation of the BYOD (Bring Your Own Device) phenomenon.

RIM sucks balls. That’s why companies opened up the gates and let employees use whatever device they wanted. The other operating systems caught up and passed RIM and there is no turning back on that now.

Federal agency dumps RIM for iPhone

The agency said it has relied on RIM for eight years, but the company “can no longer meet the mobile technology needs of the agency.”It also said it analyzed Apple’s iOS-based devices and Google Inc’s Android operating system and concluded that, for the near term, Apple’s iPhone services offer the best technology for the agency because of Apple’s tight controls of the hardware platform and operating system.

Seriously, who’s surprised? They could have gone with Android, but it leaks passwords like a sieve.

The funniest, stupidest RIM article ever

Tim Collins writing on why RIM will make an amazing comeback. At first I thought it was a parody, but then I realized he was serious — that made it even worse.

BlackBerry 10 delayed until March

Research In Motion is not likely to launch the much-anticipated BlackBerry 10 operating system software until March 2013, Jefferies analyst Peter Misek asserts in a research note. To date, the company has only said it expects to debut the first BB 10 devices in the calendar first quarter.

Not a single thing is going right at RIM.

It’s time for RIM to quit

Microsoft’s Windows Phone operating system is gaining on Research In Motion, a new study says, but it still has a long way to go before catching Android and iOS.

It’s one thing to lose ground to iOS and Android, but when Windows Phone OS catches you, you’re done.

RIM posts less of a loss than expected

The company sold 7.4 million BlackBerry phones and 130,000 PlayBook tablets last quarter. Analysts on average predicted 6.9 million smartphones and 217,000 tablets. Apple, meanwhile, sold 5 million units of its latest iPhone in a single weekend.

Wow, that’s pitiful compared to the iPhone.

RIM deathwatch

“This is the first quarter we are expecting zero subscriber growth – a loss in enterprise [customers] offset by a small gain in international consumer subs,” said Kris Thompson of National Bank Financial. “Starting next quarter, we see the sub base in a downward spiral with Blackberry 10 potentially slowing [the losses], but we’re not holding our breath.”

Dead.

RIM says it will win

Global BlackBerry sales tumbled 43 percent last quarter as RIM’s aging lineup of devices failed to match the consumer appeal of Android phones and Apple’s iPhone. BB10 will change RIM’s fortunes, Heins said today.“We’re here to win,” he said. “We’re not here to fight for third or fourth place.”

Maybe RIM is tired of Samsung getting all the attention and says stupid things to turn things around.

Dumb and Dumber: Samsung meet RIM

I would love to be in a strategy meeting with these two companies. Sit back with a keg of Heineken and just watch them fumble their way through a day of meetings.

Actually, you better make that two kegs.

RIM hit with $147.2 million verdict

A northern California jury directed Research in Motion Ltd to pay $147.2 million in patent litigation over a remote management system for wireless devices, according to an attorney for the plaintiff, Mformation Technologies Inc.

Just what they needed.

RIM bleeding developers

Disillusioned with repeated delays to RIM’s next-generation BlackBerry 10 operating system and the company’s ebbing smartphone market share in the U.S., some are throwing up their hands and turning away from the platform.

That could be the final nail.

BlackBerry tweet backfires on RIM

Salvador Rodriguez for the LA Times:

The company tweeted from its @BlackBerry account “Fill in the blank: BlackBerry helps me ________.” However, many of the people who responded didn’t find BlackBerry too helpful.“Realize how thankful I am for my #iPhone,” said one user, in one of the tamest yet worst responses RIM could have received. Not to be outdone, though, another user said the same about Android.

It’s not surprising that nobody at RIM saw this coming.

RIM selling its corporate jet

Research In Motion Ltd. (RIMM), which has lost 95 percent of its market value since 2008, is selling one of its two business jets under a plan to save $1 billion in operating costs, two people with knowledge of the matter said.

Wait a minute. You’re telling me that while thousands of employees lost their jobs, market share tanked and the stock price plummeted, executives kept a corporate jet? Yep, everything is just fine at RIM.

RIM’s positive outlook could get it sued

“They’re going to get sued and they should get sued because I think a closer look at the record is likely to unearth knowing and willful misrepresentation,” said Jean-Louis Gassée, the former president of Apple’s products division and the founder of the software maker Be, who is now a venture capitalist and blogger in Palo Alto, Calif. “When the C.E.O. says there’s nothing wrong with the company as it is, it’s not cautious, it doesn’t make sense.”

RIM CEO: ‘There is nothing wrong with the company’

Research In Motion Ltd Chief Executive Thorsten Heins said on Tuesday there is nothing wrong with the company as it exists now, denying the maker of BlackBerry smartphones is in a “death spiral.”

Clearly they’re screwed.

Gloomy future for RIM

Jean-Louis Gassée:

A short five years ago, the BlackBerry was sine qua non in the smartphone world. Today, the future looks gloomy.

RIM is screwed

Revenue for the first quarter of fiscal 2013 was $2.8 billion, down 33% from $4.2 billion in the previous quarter and down 43% from $4.9 billion in the same quarter of fiscal 2012. The revenue breakdown for the quarter was approximately 59% for hardware, 36% for service and 5% for software and other revenue. During the quarter, RIM shipped 7.8 million BlackBerry smartphones and approximately 260,000 BlackBerry PlayBook tablets.

Just brutal.

RIM stock falls 7 percent

The stock closed at $9.11 on the Nasdaq. The 7.6 percent fall is its steepest since late May, when it said it expected to report an operating loss for its fiscal first quarter and said it had hired investment bankers as part of a strategic review.

SHOOT IT ALREADY!

RIM as two companies

The report mentions Facebook and Amazon as potential buyers, but on Sunday several people close to RIM dismissed the news as “a silly fantasy,” and “one of the most ridiculous ideas I have heard in a while.”

The Globe and Mail’s headline says that “RIM dismisses report of splitting firm in two,” but that’s not actually true. It’s unnamed sources that said that.

So if they’re not going to split the company, how about just shutting it down.

RIM layoffs

Rose Simone:

RIM spokesperson Tenille Kennedy confirmed on Tuesday that RIM has reduced some positions as part of its cutback program, “and may continue to do so as the company methodically works through a review of the business.”

I hate seeing people lose their jobs because executives mismanaged the company.

RIM is in the shitter

The on-going competitive environment is impacting our business in the form of lower volumes and highly competitive pricing dynamics in the marketplace, and we expect our Q1 results to reflect this, and likely result in an operating loss for the quarter. We are continuing to be aggressive as we compete for our customers’ business – both enterprise and consumer – around the world, and our teams are working hard to provide cost-competitive, feature-rich solutions to our global customer base.

Translation: We’re fucked.

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse

“We can confirm that the Australian ‘Wake Up’ campaign, which involves a series of experiential activities taking place across Sydney and Melbourne, was created by RIM Australia,” RIM said in a statement.

So RIM, not Samsung was behind the pathetic marketing stunt.

RIM says YouMail missed its opportunity to be relevant

Alec Saunders, Vice President of Developer Relations for BlackBerry, talking to YouMail CEO, Alex Quilici:

Alex, one (former) CEO to another, one entrepreneur to another – I think it’s time to hang up the spurs cowboy. From where I sit, it looks like YouMail needed to pivot five years ago to remain relevant, and you missed the window.

Nobody at RIM can ever talk to any company about missing the opportunity to be relevant.

[Via Curious Rat]

RIM considers hiring a financial advisor

Reuters:

Research In Motion is considering hiring a financial adviser to weigh its strategic options, Bloomberg News said on Monday, citing three sources with knowledge of the matter.

Here’s a better idea — how about hiring designers or a CEO that knows what he’s doing.