Vice:

Try as you might, Christmas fiends, you cannot kill Williams-Sonoma. I know because I’ve been sh*tting on this company’s catalog every Christmas for YEARS, as a matter of both tradition and moral principle. But all of my efforts to drown this yuppie trinket hive in the toilet have seemingly been in vain.

In fact, last year, I myself nearly died before this company did. And I’m a sturdy fellow. I work out an elliptical trainer five times a week and occasionally eat fruit. I am strong. I am invincible. I AM MAN. Alas, I am no match for a company wily enough to sell Star Wars Le Creuset roasting pans for $450 (HOLY LIVING F*CK) and somehow make it work.

How does W-S do it year after year?

This guide to hating Williams-Sonoma (which, BTW, is a store I love!) is something I look forward to every year.