Apple announced Monday that it has sold over five million iPhone 5s during the first three days of its availability.

Apple also announced that more than 100 million iOS devices have so far been updated to iOS 6.

Obviously the iPhone 5 is a dismal failure and customers are staying away in droves.

I’m only partly being sarcastic, by the way. Some fart-sniffers on Wall Street had predicted higher opening weekend numbers, so there’s bound to be some grousing from analysts.