AT&T won’t charge extra to use Apple’s FaceTime over cellular networks as previously reported, but there’s still a catch: Subscribers will need a new Mobile Share plan to use the video chat service on the network.

Let me fix that for you AT&T:

“Our network sucks balls. If we tried to let all of you rabid iPhone users have FaceTime, our network would take a firey crash into Hell. Many of the executives that have been too goddamn cheap to upgrade the network are now scared shitless that they will lose their cushy bonuses. So we decided to fuck our users.”

There, that’s better. At least it’s honest.