Hilarious.

My name is Strunk And they call me White Here to teach you how to put the pen down right I see that your writing is a little bit wild These are the Elements of Style.Will Strunk in the house but don’t call me junior Grammatical genius. Number one word groomer. I teach English 8 at the school of Cornell Choose your words carefully or I’ll put you through hell.E.B. White on the mic, former student of Strunk A story that flows is all I need to get crunk Write for the New Yorker, papers marked up in scarlet I spin webs with words like my name was Charlotte.“In the last analysis” That’s a bankrupt expression It’s clear you’re not learning So listen to my lesson.Omit needless words. Good writing is concise When I was in your class, you repeated that thrice 9 times out of 10 ‘student body’ is wrong Say students instead. Move your story right along.My name is Strunk And they call me White Here to teach you how to put the pen down right I see that your writing is a little bit wild These are the Elements of Style.Split infinitive Never definitive Sounds unintelligent Dumb and inelegant. Just say it like you meant Always write with intent Each word precious Like Benjamin’s that you spent.Do not join independent clauses with a comma. But I love it, it’s cool. I don’t care if you wanna.Jails and schools should not be called facilities. I hate all these writers with second-rate abilities. Don’t use dialect ‘less your ear be good You cover East Harlem, but you ain’t from the hood.Be clear brief bold with each story told If it’s your goal to turn ink to gold.My name is Strunk And they call me White Now you know how to put the pen down right When I read your work, you know I’m gonna smile Those were the Elements of Style.

[Via Poynter]